Nicholas

23 Apr 2008

I kinda miss my grandfather. He passed away exactly one year ago from tomorrow onwards. Its 24 April 2007 when he left us but I believe he's in a better place now. Although I still miss him, I believe one day, I'll get to see him once again. Thank you God for everything that you've blessed me and my family with. Deeply appreciate what You've done in this family but I seek for more blessings. This family of mine seriously needs the love of God. One day, just one day, I'm sure this family will change! I believe that God will change this whole family of mine!

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Now playing: F.I.R. - 你很爱他
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♥ 03:12

20 Apr 2008

So many things happened this week. Went out with Tam and PP to get a hair cut and Tam got really pissed.
Got my psp this week as well. Kinda bored with no new games.. =(

What else? hmm..... Realised that NAC is coming and needs part timers. Pay ranges from 100-120 per day. Total days needed, 3

hmm... what am i doing right now? er.... trying to sleep soon as i have school tomorrow... Bleahs...

Went out to suntec today and went for service. Met some of the church peeps for dinner and headed home. Did the same thing on saturday but headed towards cinelesure? to meet Veek, Tam and PP then caught the last mrt home..

♥ 23:36

16 Apr 2008

YAWNS

♥ 02:48

10 Apr 2008

Still in office.. Finishing up some work before handing them over to the next respective person after I head back to school next week. Geez I'm tired!

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Now playing: Kiss - I was made for loving you
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♥ 23:28

9 Apr 2008

Feeling fine today. I left my house just 5 minutes later than yesterday and I missed my bus. Had no other choice but to flag a cab down to office today. But it was all worth it.
Came to office realising my best friend, a.k.a Purple was still at home when I called her. Gave her a morning call this morning but she went back to sleep after my call. Oh and it isn't the first time so I'm kind of used to it too.

Found out something super cool about 5 minutes ago. I realised my uncle has a blog as well! HOW COOL IS THAT~! And he does update. Occasionally.... hahaha.

Oh and my best friend got scolded by some jerk customer. Heard that this customer has some issues and my best friend is dealing with him. I kinda feel sorry for my best friend. I wish I could do something to help. Sorry.

And how I wish I could do the same for Jesus like how I treat my best friend. Its kinda complicated but its for me to understand. Heehee. Anyway, I have to go off soon and finish up with my work. I have a haircut appointment with my mom's stylist at 8 & its 7 already!! hurry hurry hurry !! rush rush rush!!

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Now playing: Hillsong - To Know Your Name
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♥ 18:18

8 Apr 2008

I wonder what am I really up to right now? Having a rather weird feeling now. Is it because of the way I'm living my life? Is my lifestyle affecting my relationship with God? I really don't want to leave Him again. I'm really sick of the same old Nicholas. Why am I still like this? Is there any way I can change or I'm going to remain like this for the rest of my life?

Somehow I just don't feel right. Help needed desperately before I run around Singapore butt naked!.. Well that was pure randomness. Gosh.. Am I turning mad?! Holy smokes

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Now playing: 周杰伦 - 珊瑚海
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♥ 19:46

Yesterday was kinda tiring. Knock off work at around 11.45pm. Really drained.
While I was washing up, I kinda picked up a razor blade in the toilet. Was playing with it till it slit my sole of my foot. What really amuse me was the amount of blood gushing out of a slit. I was bleeding non-stop and that didn't stop me from squeezing all the blood out even it was still bleeding. Kinda weird but it doesn't hurt that much. Anyway.. I was on the phone with someone while my leg was bleeding. I told the person that I might search for a sanitary pad to paste it on my foot and might die due to lack of blood. Its kinda stupid thou.. And what happened next was totally unexpected. I fell asleep in the toilet. Maybe its due to massive loss of blood? I kinda fainted? Maybe.. haha but I woke up anyway.. How would it be like loosing something you really need? Ever ponder over this question? Hmm I ask myself this question till now. How?

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Now playing: Michael Learns to Rock - I'm Gonna Be Around
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♥ 09:14

7 Apr 2008

Why do I keep thinking that the past was way better than present? Is it because of things that I do and i begin to regret it? Gosh... Is this how things are gonna end? What happened to a beautiful friendship? I do treasure friends don't I? Am I such an asshole? hmm....
*deep thoughts*

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Now playing: Hillsong - Saviour King
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♥ 09:57

4 Apr 2008

Why do things like suicide comes into my mind again? Is it because I think its time for me to leave or? Hmm.... I cannot live like that forever. I have to stop somewhere. How and when? If this carries on, I'm afraid I might lose my mind somewhere. Is there anyone out there that is facing the same tormenting self? It really sucks to be me! Is there anyone that can understand how I'm feeling right now? God knows and I seriously need that help =(

Please?

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Now playing: Nirvana - Lithium
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♥ 11:28

1 Apr 2008

Started off today by waking up late. Missed my bus to work and had no money on my ez-link card. So basically I had a shitty morning. Reported work a little late but no one told me off. Glad that I was spared from the scoldings. When things were starting to get a little nicer, I soon had tons of stuff to do today. Just came back from lunch not eating anything due to appetite problems. Damn I'm having gastric pains now. Why am I feeling like this recently? I'm getting skinnier and skinnier by every single day. I feel that I'm loosing my mind over small matters that were prolonged till now. When I spoke to people over dinner last night even thou I didn't eat anything, people were talking about me as if I wasn't infront of them. Its not like they were talking bad about me but its how I felt when they spoke about me.

God please help me. I've been struggling in this area for a very long time already! I really hope I can find someone to talk to like my cousins or anyone who can really understand how I feel. God please hear my prayer. I thank you in advance and I seek for an answer soon!

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Now playing: Chicago - You're the Inspiration
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♥ 14:13