1 Chronicles 16:11 Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always.
strike out.
A New Wallet An Asus G2 An Ipod Touch or Ipod Classic
An Iphone A Personal Desktop
To Go Walt Disney Studio In Paris
To Go Walt Disney Studio In Japan DSLR Cannon 50D Lost
A BMW M3/M6
A BMW 330i
Learn Driving
Complete my studies
Learn Diving
Its destinedthat I'm not fit nor ready to play a part in a relationship. I think its unfair that people get to experience it yet I'm left all alone to sit in a corner and emo. Its really demoralising and I guess its time for me to move on. But how can I move on with life when there are so many things happening co-currently at the same time? I can't focus all at a single time and Its really unfair. I wonder if those people ever felt my sincerityI've shown? Or its all just fun and games. Guess my time for now is up and its time for me to rest. I can't go on living this way. I'll soon just break down and lose my mind which I don't want it to happen.
I really want toaffirma few people for standing up side by side with me through thick and thin. He's Kenneth and he's someone you don't want to mess with. He encouraged me a couple hours ago and tried to change my emotions but it all went to waste. But I really want to thank this *brother* of mine. Its been a pleasure knowing you. I have never regretted knowing you. Thank you once again.
I don't understand how this game works. I don't know the rules, I do wish to abide with the rules but its a barrier that's stopping me from getting to it. People make it sound so easy yet once I'd tried it, it got me to emotional, I nearly couldn't take it. I want to live like anormal teenager who's growing out of one. But now, I guess its all up to me to decide for my own self. And can I love like a normal person? Why are there so many obstaclesto face. It's really been a tough journey through this run and I do hope that when its nearer to the finishing line, I can see someone waiting for me there, waiting to carry me back into His arms. Its just that Nicholas don't see the big picture in life. There are more things in life to treasure about and yet he's being stuck in this area of love. When is he going to ever step out of this area and move on with life? As this post continues, tearsare flowing down rapidly. Emotions is really a sensitive issue and must be treated with care. Unable to fulfil its requirements, don't bother entering it. The out come of it is tremendous.
♥ 05:00
27 May 2008
Its been about 10 days since I've last updated my blog. I was basically away for 5 days in M'sia and I met someone special. Its kinda weird to meet someone in a place like that but its by chance and I think its the beginning of a great friendship. Nicholas... how long is this problem going to last? Will they ever notice your feelings for them? Is this ever going to be reality? Someone please help me stop this virus from spreading...
♥ 00:36
16 May 2008
I've been thinking very hard these few days. I've decided to change the course in ITE now. I just can't take the pressure on the current course due to many calculations. Quite disappointed at things I'm facing now. I just got lectured by my mom this afternoon. Very very negative thinking from her. Hearing her words, she sounded like she wants to disown me. I didn't want to argue with her so I just walked back to my room. I felt that she doesn't care about it anymore. She thinks that I'm plain lazy in studies but although I'm a lazy person, I've always put my 100% in my studies. Even thou I'm not good in it, I still put my best in it. Its just that no one sees it. Will someone please explain things to her? I'm not like someone who's very intelligent or an A student but I do wish to be on top of things I do.
Supposed to go down to office today to meet Eddie to pass him some documents but I failed to keep my promise. Sorry. Its that I faced so many set-backs this afternoon, that part of information slipped off my mind. It got me more demoralised. Makes me feel like someone who doesn't keep up to his promises. Things have gotten quite bad for me this week. I want to see a change soon if not, I don't think I'm able to survive any longer.
God please hear my prayers and answer them. I don't wish to carry on with this suffering any longer. Its really tiring to face this situation over and over again. Awaiting for a response. Thank you in advance.
♥ 04:31
14 May 2008
Its kinda late for me to do this but I'm still doing it. Blogging at this hour. I think I'm going nuts! Anyway, Its me once again bragging about my life. Well I've been thinking hard these few days about my current course I'm doing now. I find it very difficult to cope with it and I'm planning to switch to another course. I don't mind the financial part but I'm afraid if I make the same mistake of taking the new course. I guess its really hard for me to really decide on what I'm comfortable with. God please answer my prayers please? I'm really trying my best to do things that please you. Cause not that I'm afraid of the consequences but its because I love you. I'm dead serious. I just don't know how to express my feelings for you. And am I living the right way? Am I learning the right things? Are all these right before my eyes?
Anyway, I went out very late today. At around 7.30pm to meet my aunt for an appointment. I gotta make an appointment for my aunt to get a haircut today. Guess she's really busy nowadays. I enjoy the time spend with her even thou its short but its worth. Today we went for a haircut and we dyed out hairs too. We had coffee and bread at toast box and talked about human characteristics. There are many characteristics like someone who is really analytical or a driven person. And I thank God for making her and blessing her into my life. We spoke about something called "DISC". Forgotten what does the synonyms stands for but I still remember the reason behind that. I really want to see something happen in my life soon! Its hard for me to see what is my outcome now.
Tomorrow, I'm having a mother's day dinner at my aunt's place. This time its my maternal side of the family. Well I'm being blessed with a family who knows you God. Its really a huge huge blessing for me to be in this family. I think I'm a kind of guy that enjoys the surrounding people around me in my life. I can't seem to find the right word but its really something nice! So anyway, tomorrow its dinner with them at some nice place I guess. So I'll be paying for dinner tomorrow. Three cheers for me.. hahahaha.. But I'm afraid if I'm short on cash.
There is so many things that I'm thinking of now. Like what car am I going to own at the end of the day. Of course my dream car would be a BMW. And should I take up photography? Its expensive to get the new D-SLR, Cannon 40D/450D. I have such an expensive taste but I'm being bless with my paternal side of the family aunt who treats me like her own to bless me with these kinds of material. I shall not take them for granted and one day, just one day, I'm going to work my butt off to give them a real good time. Maybe organise a whole family trip to some exotic destination somewhere in Hawaii. Well that I can only visualise now but I want to make it my BIGGEST goal of my life =). I do hope for it to be executed soon. I don't want any of them to miss this dream. God please answer this prayer of my as well. I do love them as well! They are like my life lines. But you are my life! You gave me life and you can end my life as well. So please answer this okay? I know you will =)
Alrite.. Its time for me to go snooze. I commit this post to your hands God. Bless this family of mine and Bless those who know you. You rock my world!
I need some advises on my new blog layout which I'm planning to do soon. I'm dying to know how to change it but it seems like no one I know knows or I'm just plain lazy to ask. So please. Anyone out there who knows, I'm a lost bird who needs a parent bird (Sounds cheesy!) to teach me!! please write to me in the shout out box
Sometimes I wish I could write my own life novel and write about my own death. May sound freaky but who knows, it might be cool! When you're aware of whats coming up next and whats gonna happen in acouple of moments. But what might happen when people gets greedy and takes everything.
I spoke something just now that makes alot of sense. True friends are hard to differ nowadays. When you're rich and successful, many will claim that he/she knows you. But when you're broke and unsuccessful, many will turn away from you. Why is it like this? I really hate it. I admit that I think I did this before. Rich people are my "best friends" but I do not neglect my real friends who aren't that rich financially. I guess this is how the world reacts/thinks.
God please shut that b!tch up outside! She is freaking irritating!! Like karaoke music centre! Come on man this is an office. If you wanna sing, please head down towards and K-box and sing your heart out and I really mean it when heart out. She has heart problems la and she's still singing like a crazy b!tch!! Crazy philippino. This is SINGAPORE(SPARTA)!!!! No wonder she has high blood presure!
Argh... Now getting shit from Tammie. Am I a glutton for punishment? I really feel like bashing acouple of people now. God please answer my prayer!! EVERYONE SHOUT OUT LOUD & THEN SHUT UP!!!! Screw the whole world!
Nicholas goes booming around the whole world. Everyone keep quiet. Need some peace and quiet around! With Cez around there will not be any PEACE! God please someone fire her!!!! Aunt please send her back to the phillipines. She is one crazy MOFO grandmother. I wonder how her grandchildren survive her non-senses! CEZ!! You're FIRED!!! retarded Phillipino. Go and die from your heart problem or let some blood vessel burst! DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nicholas signingout. Grabs a shotgun and heads to cez (B)limbo desk.
Next scene: BOOM!!!!!!!
♥ 21:57
Had a talk with aunt once again. She spoke to me regarding acouple of things that I was struggling with. So she gave me afew advises and tip on how to channel my feelings and to avoid some doings. Well I do hope that there would be a change in me.
Tried to register online for my driving course and i'm not old enough to enroll =( that one thing to be sad about for today. Heartbroken!
All hot girls put your hands up and sing Om Shanti Om
All cool boys comeon make some noise Om Shanti Om
♥ 17:38
窗外的麻雀 在電線桿上多嘴 chuang wai de ma que / zai dian xian gan shang duo zui The sparrow outside the window is being noisy on the electrical wire
妳說這一句 很有夏天的感覺 ni shuo zhe yi ju / hen you xia tian de gan jue You say that this sentence has a lot of that summer feeling
手中的鉛筆 在紙上來來回回 shou zhong de qian bi / zai zhi shang lai lai hui hui The pencil in [my] hand, goes back and forth on the paper
我用幾行字形容妳是我的 wo yong ji hang zi xing rong ni shi wo de shui I use a few lines to describe who you are to me
秋刀魚 的滋味 貓跟妳都想了解 qiu dao yu / de zi wei / mao gen ni dou xiang liao jie The taste of sanma fish, the cat and you both want to understand
初戀的香味就這樣被我們尋回 chu lian de xiang wei jiu zhe yang bei wo men xun hui The fragrance of first love was rediscovered by us just like that
那溫暖 的陽光 像剛摘的鮮豔草莓 na wen nuan / de yang guang / xiang gang zhai de xian yan cao mei That warm sunlight, is like the brillant freshly-picked strawberries
你說妳捨不得吃掉這一種感覺 ni shuo ni she bu de chi diao zhe yi zhong gan jue You say you can't bear to eat up this feeling
雨下整夜 我的愛溢出就像雨水 yu xia zheng ye / wo de ai yi chu jiu xiang yu shui Rain falls the whole night, my love overflows just like rainwater
院子落葉 跟我的思念厚厚一疊 yuan zi luo ye / gen wo de si nian hou hou yi die The fallen leaves in the yard, thickly overlaps with my lingering thoughts
幾句是非 也無法將我的熱情冷卻 ji ju shi fei / ye wu fa jiang wo de re qing leng que A few words of dispute, cannot cool my warmth
妳出現在我詩的每一頁 ni chu xian zai wo shi de mei yi ye You appear in my poem's every page
雨下整夜 我的愛溢出就像雨水 yu xia zheng ye / wo de ai yi chu jiu xiang yu shui Rain falls the whole night, my love overflows just like rainwater
窗台蝴蝶 像詩裡紛飛的美麗章節 chuang tai hu die / xiang shi li fen fei de mei li zhang jie Butterfly on the window sill, is like the beautiful chapter that flutters about in the poem
我接著寫 把永遠愛妳寫進詩的結尾 wo jie zhe xie / ba yong yuan ai ni xie jin shi de jie wei I continue to write, to write my eternal love for you into the poem's ending
妳是我唯一想要的了解 ni shi wo wei yi xiang yao de liao jie
You are the only understanding I want
那飽滿 的稻穗 幸福了這個季節 na bao man / de dao sui / xing fu le zhe ge ji jie That fulfilling ear of rice, made this season happy
而妳的臉頰像田裡熟透的蕃茄 er ni de lian jia xiang tian li shou tou de fan qie Yet your cheek is like the rippened tomato in the fields
妳突然 對我說 七里香的名字很美 ni tu ran / dui wo shuo / qi li xiang de ming zi hen mei You suddenly say to me, "Qi Li Xiang" this name is very beautiful
我此刻卻只想親吻妳倔強的嘴 wo ci ke que zhi xiang qin wen ni jue qiang de zui Yet at this moment I can only think of kissing your stubborn lips
♥ 15:17
11 May 2008
So its mother's day today and all I did was nothing. I felt really guilty because I missed service too! Due to me overslept I shouldn't have slept really late last night but I was having a good conversation with my younger sister. I'm quite concern about her. She even did 2 Tatoos before me!! How outrageous is that!? at least do it after mine! haha.. anyway jokes aside. Felt really really guilty that I didn't prioritise my time well. Awell, I'll just have to plan out my time better next time. Just hope that I'll do better the next time.
Anyway, here's a video I wanna share with you guys from a motion picture
Title : Om Shanti Om
♥ 17:47
7 May 2008
Why do all good things come to an end?
1. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Sleepy eyes rather
2. What kind of computer do have? a lappy
3. What have you learned today? positive and negative points
4. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? one?? maybe non even.
5. Do You Like to Smile? can say so
6. How Tall Are You? 5ft 6inch
7. What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? an entrepreneur
8. What Time Do You Usually Wake Up On the Weekends? 11am or earlier
9. Do You Like Peanut Butter? yeap
10. What is your favorite subject? PE
12. What kind of perfume do you wear? CK eternity
13. Country music...? erm... non?
14. If you could live in any other country, which one would you pick? Switzerland or Paris
15. Where were you when you heard about the World Trade Towers? At home
16. Are camera phones worth it? yeap
25. Is there anyone you'd die for? hmm...
26. Spell your name without an E,R,S,H,K,I,M,A,: Ncol
27. What are you listening to? Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
28. Is any part of your body sore? whole body
29. Are you happy with your friends right now? not really
31. How do you earn money? designing stuff
32. Are you outgoing? used to be really outgoing
33. Where do you wish you were right now? away on a holiday
34. Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? kind of..!!
35. When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty? Sunday
36. How is life going for you right now? not really good..
37. When was the last time you held someone’s hand? think it was day before yesterday
38. Who can you tell everything to? God..
39. Who was the last person you talked to on MSN? Amanda
40. Last words you spoke? byee
41. Did you date someone you regret dating? nope
42. What is your natural hair color? dark brown
43. What was the last concert you went to? Sam Hui
44. Do you play guitar hero? Used to play haha..
46. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold
47. Who is your last text from? Aunt Veronica
48. What is the last movie you watched in theaters? Rule #1... with someone i really like(d)..
49. Who did you last share a bed with? cousin? haha had no choice..
51. Do fish have feelings? think so?
52. What do you currently smell like? Adidas deodorant
53. Do you feel like dancing? Always felt like dancing with my father again. Dancing is exciting and fun!
54. What are you going to do after this? Shut down my comp
55. Who were the last people you ate lunch with? Eddie... Lunch at 5.10pm
I can't sleep due to restless mind. A mind that is constantly thinking non-stop 24-7. Why is this happening to me? Am I such a jerk? Don't you feel a thing? I think its time this rubbish should end!
Nicholas.. Its time you should move on yea? But there is always the memories to think about. How?? Damn.. this sucks..
Today kinda sucked for me! Realised that my exams are around the corner (June 3 & 6) Man... Am I ready for my exam? I don't even know what I'm studying. Shitty Feelings came back! argh!!
What should I do now? I wanna pass this exam real bad. I wouldn't want to fail like before! Man.. the feeling of failure really sucks big time! I would really wanna do well in life but there are so many obstacles I have to overcome! Am I really different from others? Why are there people who are like naturally smart and talented in important needs whereas I receive alot of comments that I'm streetsmart etc.. quicklearner.. But why can't I be someone who's Intellectual.
I'm blogging in office currently. Getting reprimanded by my surroundings. Like quite depressed. Why don't they realise that I'm around? =(
ROARs!
♥ 19:25
3 May 2008
Quarrelled with my dad on thursday night and there was about 30+ people who witness the incident. It was ultra embarrassing to be scolded infront of so many people. And right after that incident, it was on friday morning when I quarrelled with my mom. Well its sucks to have a no talking terms with both of your parents. Didn't sleep the whole of today. How sad..