Haven't slept in 25 hours and counting.. I find that sleeping becomes a chore but I need to rest. Why does this happen again. I never wanted this to happen but somehow, it just comes back. I'm seriously a glutton for punishment. A magnet for problems as well. Somehow problems find its way to me and I have to face them myself. I need to end all these. Balance out my life properly. Dropping all these and running away from all these doesn't stop there. I have to find a solution to end this issue. My life wasted by thinking so much. How I hope I'll never come to this extend to lose the friendship between us.d

School today was pretty amazing. I am still wondering how I managed to stay awake for my lectures! I guess my teacher made the lesson interesting. I feel that my system might be breaking down soon. I guess it'll end all misery but I'm afraid that it would affect my family. I don't know who else it'll affect but I guess that it doesn't matter much either.

I wanna get a new Nicholas. Maybe after NS, I'll probably migrate away from Singapore. I may sound selfish but I see it as an opportunity to not invite problems back to myself. I wanna runaway! Far far away.. I need to breakaway too.. What you may see in my physical self isn't my emotional self. I may look fine but inside of me is all broken up. To an extend that I don't know who I am anymore. All I know is that I love my God & Family. I don't even know who I am anymore. Losing my identity. Who in the world is Nicholas Chew. Who gives a damn who I am. Who I am doesn't matter to anyone. I'm just a freaking human who's lost his identity. I wanna find back my identity in Christ. I just find it useless to live on like that. Even thou I proclaim my Lord's name and I accept Him as my Lord, my God & my savior. I find myself being the worst or the worst. Jesus please take me to where all these wouldn't matter!!!!

I'm facing the edge of the cliff and I don't know what's my next step gonna be..

♥ 03:04