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Salohcin.
i'm your soul.


Nicholas a.k.a Chewster
saint andrew's school

1 Chronicles 16:11
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.


strike out.


A New Wallet
An Asus G2
An Ipod Touch or Ipod Classic
An Iphone
A Personal Desktop
To Go Walt Disney Studio In Paris
To Go Walt Disney Studio In Japan
DSLR Cannon 50D Lost
A BMW M3/M6
A BMW 330i
Learn Driving
Complete my studies
Learn Diving

hearts talking.



alternative exits.


Benn
Benn Xie
Cedric
Chanel
Chee Hwee
Chester Elisha Lee
Clarence
Darren Lee
Daryl Elijah Low
Deborah
Desmond Mark
Huixian
Irene
Isaac
Iva
Jan
JemJem
Jolene
Jolene
Kenneth
Krisstle
Marcus Hosea Loke
Nigel Zachariah
Michelle Bliss
Pauline Sim
Peter
Phoebe
Richard Tan
Scott
See Peng
Sharon
Sherman Isaiah
Titus
Yan Ping
Zen
Curious

my days, not yours.

August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
July 2009
November 2009

thank you.

Layout: Kary-yan/Missyan.
Hosts: x o x

2 Apr 2009

The first thing that came into my mind when I woke up is have I forgotten all the thoughts I had the previous day but it triggered off and everything came back which made me feel really emotionless now. Feelings are hard to retain and control. I have done many regretful things in the past and till now, it still haunts me. I really screwed up myself now and why do I face more and more problems. I feel emptier and emptier every time these thoughts come by. I feel that my mind is getting heavier and heavier as well. Can someone please answer me why do I face all these shits ?
I want all these unending thinkings to stop and I just don't find a reason for these thinkings to carry on. I'll just create more and more problems for me. I have no goals nor plans for the time being and I have no idea what I want to do with myself too. I might as well just lay here and rot to the day I die. I find no purpose of living any longer. People might think I'm selfish or self-centered but I really cannot find a fitting in any of the things I do. I don't benefit anyone when I'm here not benefit and purpose. I'm just repeating myself which I don't want to be doing.
I'm an unhappy, unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, under tremendous pressure, regretted my old doings person. Sometimes I wonder why was I place here for ? To be a glutton for punishment ? I just find no more will to carry on myself. I have no goals nor future. I'm really unhappy with things that happening. Why is there a financial crisis @ the moment and when the President of United States of America comes down to have a talk, why are there riots and strikes ! Some things are meant to be left unknown but why do these happen ? I don't understand the complications of a human mind. Why are these minds so different ? Do they find joy and happiness in doing these ? I myself don't know what joy and happiness means anymore. I can't find joy nor happiness in things I do now. I'm still wanting to serve God and I do want to seek joy and happiness serving Him but the truth is I can't seem to attain it.
I'm an empty person in a foreign country. I find no reason to go back to Singapore but I have left behind so much that becomes a reason for me to go back. 2ndly, I have to be back to serve in the national service if not, I'll get myself and my family into trouble with the government in Singapore. I have no passion to do more stuff. No will to carry on myself. No compassion for those around me. No feelings for myself nor anything & No life.


20:02